I have been watching 爱情保卫战 on YouTube recently. I can't believe such a show even exists. Comparing the shows on Channel 8 and 5, I think Singapore needs to be more creative in our reality shows. 爱情保卫战 is a China TV show featuring couples trying to resolve their issues. In fact, some couples featured in the show used it to validate their decision to the end their relationship.
Couples Quarreling Over (having different opinions on) Money $$$
There were various relationship issues showcased in 爱情保卫战. 3rd Party, Flirting, Lazy Husband, Lazy Wife, etc. And of course, quarreling over money.
Case 1: Husband / Wife controls all the finances. There were various examples of couples quarreling over this matter. However, in the example below, the Husband was the one "controlling the finance". The Wife had to hand over her monthly salary to the Husband. The Husband would then give her some allowance. But the Wife complained about her miserable allowance.
You will never imagine what was coming next? They were married for 13 years. The Husband's Mum managed their money throughout the 13 years. Wife passes the money to the Husband. Husband passes the money to his Mum for safe keeping. And the climax of the quarrel - the Husband doesn't even how much money has been saved by his Mum. *Applause*
Case 2: Girlfriend feels her Boyfriend is a Miser. They were just two different people having different opinion on money. One believed in quality (the Girl), the other believed in being practical (the Guy). I felt the Guy was overly practical and the Girl was overly spendthrift that led to their relationship issue.
This example should be quite common among relationships. Not being a miser but couples having different opinions on how to spend and save their money.
Case 3: Boyfriend believes buying 4D/ Toto is an Investment. I have heard people buying lottery as a form of hope. Buying lottery has an investment? We have to give this fellow (below) an award. The Girlfriend could no longer tolerate his gambling addiction and debts.
My Finance, Her Finance, and Our Finance
My Wife has always said, "Your money is my money, and my money is still my money. Understand!"
While she says that, our finances are managed separately (and individually). We do have a joint account for household expenses and savings.
Well, every couple has their own way of managing their finances. Although, I am unable to accept someone having total control over my finance or myself controlling my partner's money, it might work well for some couples. I do know that some of my friends' finances are managed by their respective partner.
How Should We Manage Our Finances
Some people can't even manage their own finance. Some couples have never communicated about management of their finances before their marriage.
I am not a relationship expert but I believe finance will be one important topic to have some common understanding and alignment.
To conclude, I think the best summary was given by this Love Expert on the show (See above).
Hi RTPI,
ReplyDeleteThere is a lot of wisdom in the host and Tu Lei via their own live expereinces and imparting to the problematic couple.
A nice show compared to many Singaporeans TV shows which truly lack creativity over the years.
I had watched show quite a lot 2 yrs ago but since stop.
http://www.rolfsuey.com/2014/12/blog-post.html?m=1
Hi Rolf, pretty good show and always like to hear Tu Lei analysis of the issues.
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